Today is a sad day for those of us with addictions. The country has deemed it necessary to take away something which we hold so near and dear to our hearts, and while I think this is good for the people in the long run, right now it sucks. Big, chocolate salty balls style.
How dare the powers that be stage a nation wide intervention on an addiction that is a determent to productivity, yet a boon to social skills? Fuck off, powers that be. I'm Bodie Brodaus and I'm an addict. And I fucking like it!
But, yo, Bodie, what the fuck are you on about? Drugs? Illegal. Alcohol? That too. What is it that the powers that be have robbed? How have they intervened?
Easy, yo. BlackBerry. My CrackBerry (which makes me oh so merry) is no more, at least for the time being. The socialist institution that is zain Telecommunications decided to shut off all BBM conversations for the day, and, what's more, they're blaming RIM (BlackBerry's makers) for this crime, which is downright douchebag behavior.
I'm on my home's wireless network, and my BBM is working. I can become an addict, provided I'm within reach of a wireless network.
So, zain, quit the douche bag behavior. Por fa-fucking-vor. Fix your network, motherfuckers. Now.
Right now, I'm a junkie, and I need my fucking fix.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
I'm Sick
Ah, crap. So I get this crazy bit of news the other day, right? Turns out I'm sick, really sick.
It seems I have what is called a Peter Pan complex, an inability to grow up. My doctor, the esteemed Dr. Ruth Westheimer, told me that, while my complex isn't in the later stages, it appears to be heading there fast.
In fact, a panel composed of her, Dr. Frasier Crane, Dr. Leonard Nimoy, and Dr. John Zoidberg found that my Peter Pan complex is practically incurable and that the chances of a Peter Pan less future for me are slim. And I don't even get a Tinkerbell or an ability to fly! (That last part was my failed attempt at a joke. Damn you, PPC! You rob me of my sense of humor!!)
I refuse to take Dr. Westheimer's diagnosis of me lying down. After all, it is not her area of expertise, not by a long shot. (Very long :))
In fact, tomorrow I have an appointment with a Jennifer Melfi. Maybe she can get to the bottom of this.
After that, maybe Paul Weston can take a shot at me. I mean, yeah he's good, but, between you and me, I think he's a bit of a whack job himself.
It seems I have what is called a Peter Pan complex, an inability to grow up. My doctor, the esteemed Dr. Ruth Westheimer, told me that, while my complex isn't in the later stages, it appears to be heading there fast.
In fact, a panel composed of her, Dr. Frasier Crane, Dr. Leonard Nimoy, and Dr. John Zoidberg found that my Peter Pan complex is practically incurable and that the chances of a Peter Pan less future for me are slim. And I don't even get a Tinkerbell or an ability to fly! (That last part was my failed attempt at a joke. Damn you, PPC! You rob me of my sense of humor!!)
I refuse to take Dr. Westheimer's diagnosis of me lying down. After all, it is not her area of expertise, not by a long shot. (Very long :))
In fact, tomorrow I have an appointment with a Jennifer Melfi. Maybe she can get to the bottom of this.
After that, maybe Paul Weston can take a shot at me. I mean, yeah he's good, but, between you and me, I think he's a bit of a whack job himself.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Barca Barca Barca!!
Wow.
Just wow.
Last night's demolition of Bayern Munich was one of the more entertaining games I have seen my boys play in a while. Sure, it was chippy, and sure, Bayern was missing some key players, but I believe that on a night like last night, Barcelona could not be stopped. I mean, it was 4-0 in the first 40 minutes (the final score) and Barca could have doubled that. Easily.
Yes, Bayern didn't have Klose or Lucio (who was missed as evident by the gaps Messi and Iniesta were able to find in the defense), but Bayern's strength is its midfield, which was eaten whole by Yaya Toure, who shall henceforth be reffered to as Yaya The Beast. And a beast he was, stiffling every attack by Munich, not allowing any balls to be delivered to Luca Toni and limiting Ribery and Schweinsteiger's creativity and effectiveness.
Xavi was his usual controlling, effecient self (he operates the offense in the same way a skilled video gamer does- many remarks about the "PS3 fluidity" of the offense were made last night), and Iniesta, as is the norm with little Andres (who's fast becoming my favorite player), was erratic, but deadly when he slipped through the defense. Given room, Iniesta would weave his way through defenders with "Messi-like" quality (more on that later) and slip it to the three forwards, who did their damage.
But the true marvel, the diamond in the rough, was Lionel. Messi the Magician would not be denied on this day. His ball skills were on full display last night and the ease with which he broke down the defense was Maradona like at times. Video game Messi couldn't do what real life Messi could on this night. Seriously, I am still in awe. Do yourself a favor and watch a video of the game because, seriously, there are no words.
None.
Just wow.
Last night's demolition of Bayern Munich was one of the more entertaining games I have seen my boys play in a while. Sure, it was chippy, and sure, Bayern was missing some key players, but I believe that on a night like last night, Barcelona could not be stopped. I mean, it was 4-0 in the first 40 minutes (the final score) and Barca could have doubled that. Easily.
Yes, Bayern didn't have Klose or Lucio (who was missed as evident by the gaps Messi and Iniesta were able to find in the defense), but Bayern's strength is its midfield, which was eaten whole by Yaya Toure, who shall henceforth be reffered to as Yaya The Beast. And a beast he was, stiffling every attack by Munich, not allowing any balls to be delivered to Luca Toni and limiting Ribery and Schweinsteiger's creativity and effectiveness.
Xavi was his usual controlling, effecient self (he operates the offense in the same way a skilled video gamer does- many remarks about the "PS3 fluidity" of the offense were made last night), and Iniesta, as is the norm with little Andres (who's fast becoming my favorite player), was erratic, but deadly when he slipped through the defense. Given room, Iniesta would weave his way through defenders with "Messi-like" quality (more on that later) and slip it to the three forwards, who did their damage.
But the true marvel, the diamond in the rough, was Lionel. Messi the Magician would not be denied on this day. His ball skills were on full display last night and the ease with which he broke down the defense was Maradona like at times. Video game Messi couldn't do what real life Messi could on this night. Seriously, I am still in awe. Do yourself a favor and watch a video of the game because, seriously, there are no words.
None.
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